You are viewing velvet_indigo

April 2012
Mon, Apr. 9th, 2012 05:48 am
Still alive.

Not feeling GREAT. But not as bad as I was a couple weeks ago.
Thought it would be a good idea to post something.

I've been posting more random stuff on Tumblr. It feels a bit more conducive to what I do online than Pinterest. Plus pinterest keeps trying to link up to my facebook even though I tell it not to.

Taking the world one day at a time is a terrible mantra. It sets you up for failure and deflects responsibility. That said, it is what I am doing at the moment. Taking each step day by day; bit by bit. Stress builds up faster than it should these days. Whatever will be, will be.

Current Mood: complacent complacent


Tue, Mar. 13th, 2012 12:51 pm
Mass Effect 3 Creative Writing PracticeCollapse )

Rought draft since this is a practice.
Thoughts...? I'd like to get better at writing. Maybe I could get decent enough to do a fanfic.
I was practicing parallelism for emotional reaction.

Current Mood: exanimate exanimate


Mon, Feb. 27th, 2012 09:44 pm
Capping up last weekend:
- Didn't work Friday when I explained my issues dealing with my 105 class to my boss. She told me to work on homework, and contact her later in the weekend to go over projects the company needs me to work on.

- Read some school material. Concept sketched more stuff for 105 on Friday. Then went to CSz to perform. OK performance. Rusty. Got into improv-based fight with Kevin.

- Worked for a few hours on my application to Hertfordshire. Started my essay saying why it would be great to go, and how beneficial it would be to study in a different country. Ended up with more freak outs and questions than felt comfortable with.

- Saturday evening I performed at CSz again. By this time, realizing it was a terrible idea to perform both nights because I need time for HW. Resolve, before show, to pull an all nighter on HW to be ready for coming week.

- During show, I take a stage fall. Forget that the new stage is smaller, and that the entering steps are closer to the stage door. Hit my head on the corner of the stairs. Very noticeable. Wanted to cry. In middle of show. Gave ref thumbs up that I was "OK". Thankfully we only had about 20 minutes left of the show. I couldn't feel heat/cold for a while. And I slurred most of my speech. Hurt every time I blinked.
Teammates made sure I didn't have a concussion. Wanted me to rest before I went home. Refused. Drove home with massive head ache. Slow reaction time on highway. Almost sideswiped. Get home. Crash. In too much pain.

- Sunday, back of head throbs for most of day despite the IB profen I took. Resolve to complete as much homework as possible. Pass out a few times while reading (probably because I was tired. Didn't sleep well). Finish reading. Finish 99. Hung up on 105 project.

- Sunday Evening. Spent about 3 hours on 105 project, and have nothing to show except for uber frustration. Don't go to Improv practice because of HW. Boss understands. Asks if I am OK.

- Forget that I needed to sign in and work on Sunday and call Franke. Sign in at 9:30. On for an hour.

- Don't sleep well at all. Freak out over everything.

- Wake up. Work on rough draft of essay for exchange program. Try to sleep. Top/back of Head sensitive to touch.

- Continue to freak out over 105. On verge of tears after I talk to professor during office hours. Sally forth, try to juxtapose more. Hit potential solution. Show to professor. He loves it. Rants about how it relates back to people. Subtle, but a good way. Insists I don't 'bog down' the poster with anything more than the image, and some simple text. Says image is more than powerful enough to carry itself.

- Feel a little better. High pitched sounds hurt more than normal. Makes back of my head where I hurt myself hurt. Person with allergies on train most of the way. Everytime he sneezes I cringe in pain. Should probably take something when I get home.

- Work on train for work. Have upset email from Franke. Asking why I never called her like I was supposed to. Send email for her to see tomorrow. Hope she understands. Also hopes she doesn't go into Momma mode and insist I see a doctor about the head injury. Don't have the money.

- Speaking of money. Ran into my niece randomly last Tuesday. Mentioned to her how I was still looking for a D90. She happened to hit up craigslist at the right time on Sunday for a poster. Sent me link. Might have a camera by end of week. It's pricey. $699. Used. 39k shutter on it. It's the while starter kit. Already have a portrait lense that will be compatible with it from my Nikon S90.

No clue what I'll do when I get home. Probably eat. Veg. And if my head doesn't hurt, start on project 105. It's due Wednesday, and I just figured out my poster concept today. Know it will be better than most of the concepts people already show. But have to make sure it is up to my standards. Not SJSU's.

Current Mood: sore injured?


Sun, Dec. 4th, 2011 03:18 pm

My skin is really bad right now. The dry, cold conditions are no bueno. I ordered samples of some of the Paula's Choice stuff Rachel suggested. Hopefully I won't have a horrible reaction to this, and maybe it can help.

In the last year, I've noticed this odd trend for people who have keratosis pilaris. Approximately 40% of the world's population has the genetic disorder, but most of those people have such a mild condition that regular exfoliating makes it disappear.
Mine is an extreme condition. I read stories about people who got it when they were teenagers, and how horrible their life became because they were 17 and suddenly got it.

I've had it since I was a toddler. So this whole KP as a buzzword in specialty skin products makes me feel really... bitter. People talk about it as some casual coffee conversation. Like some sort of a conversational complaint.

skin rantCollapse )

I can't blame other people about my self esteem, or lack of self confidence in my appearance. They could be a catalyst, but it is a weakness in personal character that causes the catalyst to work. I can't blame them for how I felt because they were ignorant. But that doesn't mean there isn't a giant part of me that wants to yell at them. Show them how their insensitive comments shaped me as a young person and on into an adult. Show them the damage their comments produced.

Mer.. D:
Need to re-focus. I have finals to get ready for.

Current Mood: bitchy Bitter


Thu, Sep. 1st, 2011 08:52 pm
There are times when taking a long, cool breath is impossible because that long, cool breath takes seconds you don't have at your disposal.

Right now, I am on the train. (I'm on a train, what? I'm on a train! Where? I'm on a train, I'm on a train. Now let me explain!) /endrapphase. Actually, I am stuck on the train at the moment. By the time this entry is finish, this will not be the case, but for the moment it is. A car stalled on the train, so we had to wait for the police to remove the car, and then we have to backtrack to switch train tracks because the car might have damaged the rail. :(

Semester session began last week, and it was originally met with a lot of frustration, panic and quite frankly tears. It was a nice "Welcome to San Jose. Fuck You and the horse you came on."
After most of the drama has died down, it is easier for me to talk about it.

I was waitlisted for two classes. One in particular is a necessity for me to get into - 104. Intro to graphic design. It doesn't articulate from ARC, because it is a class that has a portfolio review at the end of it. Long story short, I got into a section, but not with the professor I wanted. In order to move on to 105, I need a B or higher in the class, and this professor is known for being extremely difficult. We'll see how it goes, with fingers crossed.
Still waiting on the Typography class, as I am on the waitlist. In fact, everyone else on the waitlist has abandoned the class, but not I. Nope...
I'll find out on Tuesday how bleak my chances of getting into the class are. I don't know who else would drop at this point, since we are just now getting into the drawing of fonts. Not enough time for anyone to feel intimidated.

It is hard making the transition. Not because I am not capable of doing high quality artwork. More so, I don't know the professors. This is my first time experiencing them, and what they look for is different than what my professors at ARC looked for. It will take some getting used to, but with some perseverance and should work out.

Work could be better. Supposedly the KIWO is down again. No one tells me things until like.. Thursday or Friday. So all the stuff I sent during the week means nothing. :( Why did I bother sending it in the first place then!? Telecommuting on the train is also, marginally interesting. After this first week, I have begun to adapt, by location, when my signal is going to go.. then I scramble to transfer everything I can work on to my desktop, and hope I get it all in time before hitting the 30 min. blackout along the coastline.

I wake up at 4am Mon-Thurs. now.. just to make the 5:30 train into San Jose. I've never felt like such a zombie. . . but you know.. the world seems so much more innocent at night. This has reminded me as to why I love night time so much. It is peaceful... an earnest sort of peaceful. I like it.

I just hope things can start to settle down a bit more... sooner than later.

And my brain is totally fried. Probably good to stop here.

Current Mood: tired tired


Tue, Jul. 19th, 2011 08:05 pm

I am still alive! Promise.
Too much time has passed since last this was updated. Life keeps having its ups and downs. I have no idea what is going to happen to me in what is less than a month now. I am still in fee deferral, and the school hasn't given me the rest of my money. No clue how I'll be getting down to San Jose without a train pass. Though who knows how well that will work ANYWAY, because I am wait listed on all of my classes.


Other than that... uhm, hrm.. Kevin and I are supposed to built a desk/table for me. I did the numbers online and came up with around $100. But when I went into the STORE to look at pricing, it was much more pricey. >.<; I just want a desk that I can function with. I feel like I am in this artistic limbo because I have even less of a place to do any of my art stuff.
Even now, the only place I can set my laptop is literally in my lap. Well, unless I want to have it get uncomfortably hot. D:

Things have to get better, and they will. Just need to power through it.

Have you ever stopped to consider, that we are all connected to everything else? At the moment we exist, we exist with everything. Not just in this space, but in the time. We exist everywhere, and every-time because both words are concepts. If existence is to be, cogito ergo sum, then we are where we believe ourselves to be.
Which means that while I am sitting on a couch, in a room in California, I am standing in front of the Eiffel Tower, and feeling the dry land of Mars all at once.

I remember trying to pass that off to a 2nd grade teacher as an excuse for not doing my Math homework once. I explained to her that while it was not done now, that does no exclude that it will be done. And if it will be done later, it is technically done now.

That sooooo didn't fly.

Current Mood: listless listless
Current Music: We are All Connected


Wed, Jun. 22nd, 2011 05:48 pm

Etsy store is back up~

Etsy Store located Here

I just hope it brings in some money. ;3;

Current Mood: jubilant good nervous
Current Music: Morgan Page


Thu, Jun. 16th, 2011 03:00 am

Tomorrow we see Kevin's Dad. They leave this Saturday...moving to Tennessee..? Georgia? Something like that. No clue.

Human connections are what makes someone part of your family. Not blood. I have been reminding myself this a lot lately.

Current Mood: contemplative contemplative


Sat, Jun. 11th, 2011 08:04 am
I slept for 13 hours... about the time we got back from San Jose, until an hour ago.

Went to Orientation, and got a few things cleared up. First, I was accepted through the Digital Media Arts dept. This is the reason why my counselor at ARC and I didn't have the issue of the typography class, and the intro to graphic design class. They don't exist for that major. I spoke with the head of DMA, and felt that while I do love digital media arts, and I love to work on the computer as an artist, I really like the rigorous practice of graphic design.
Regardless, I don't want to be there for 3.5 years... it seems like this might be the only course of action I can have *sigh*

Now...because I have completed my GE Certification... I actually only have 4 specialized SJSU classes that are GE.
Ontop of that, some of the classes for the BFA in Graphic Design are also part of the BFA in which the professor on the DMA side pointed out...I could double major.

double major Fine Arts degrees.

what the fuck.

It's so crazy, it just might work.

Current Mood: contemplative contemplative


Fri, Jun. 3rd, 2011 09:20 pm
Uhm... Things could be a lot better. Not too sure how much to divulge.

Etsy shop has some cookie charms on it, but that is all for now.. Here it is more will be added, I just need to upload the images.


Current Mood: indescribable indescribable